Constant Joy Was Never The Goal

But creating moments everyday is the aim.

I’ll be really honest with you, the last couple of months I’ve been on an absolute emotional rollercoaster because what’s happening to this country that I love so much is utterly devastating.

Reading the headlines, getting “breaking news” alerts on my phone, and scrolling through social media has left me mentally and emotionally exhausted.

Where is the joy? Why can I never feel happy?

The world tells us happiness is something to chase. But what does that even mean? You can’t be happy all day long, right? Even if you could, you wouldn’t enjoy it if it was all you knew.

I guess my point is this - I’m starting to take more control. I’m being intentional now. I’m focusing on moments of joy. And I’m not waiting for them to happen, I’m creating them.

It’s been a gamechanger.

I started by only reading the news in the morning. Yes, I get it, that can set one up for a really bad day, but - guess what - when I was reading/watching in the evening it stuck with me all night and I got no sleep. I emphasize reading because you can choose what you read and where you source it from.

I also turned off all alerts on my phone. Ah the simple joy of peace, not seeing (I never had the sound on) the pop-ups on my phone has been so calming.

And I only go on social media once a day - sometimes every other day - with the aim to eventually get off altogether. I’m working on that given I connect with so many of you there, which I would truly miss.

But there are other behaviors, very sensorial experiences, I’m creating for myself that I want to share with you today. All have an aromatic component, but even if you can’t smell, the other senses invite you in.

Here are 5 behaviors I’ve been adding to create moments of joy throughout my ordinary day.

1. I Physically Embrace Someone

I give my husband and son a hug at least once a day. Not a quick hug, but one where you fully embrace and nestle your nose in deep to take in their full scent. The smell of a loved one has been scientifically shown to reduce stress levels, not to mention the physical health benefits of touch as well. If you live by yourself, maybe you have a dog or cat you can cuddle with, or simply pet one you come across on an errand or your daily walk. Here the science is promising too.

2. I Spend Time Outdoors

There’s nothing more joyful than taking a moment to be in space with other living beings. Usually it’s during my lunch hour, and then again at the end of my work day. I’ll sit for 5 minutes in my backyard, close my eyes, and simply take in the smells of Nature around me. Then I’ll listen to the birds chirping, and watch the trees swaying or the colorful flowers blooming. There’s nothing more joyful than realizing there’s a whole world of living creatures getting on with their day, not mired in the political turmoil we humans create for ourselves. We have so much to learn from them. It’s a total reset for me that I absolutely crave.

3. I Get Still

In a world spinning ever so quickly, I take moments just to be - to interrupt the movement. I sit and simply b r e a t h e. I notice the odor molecules hitting my nose, imagine how they’re being registered in my brain, and listen to what they have to say. I can be anywhere to do this. Sometimes I do this when I’m sitting in my car, or waiting in line at the grocery store. It’s about breaking the dizzying and constant motion we find ourselves in.

4. I Seek Out Community IRL

I’m getting together with friends more often, which might sound simple, but we’re all incredibly busy and time goes by quickly. It’s not enough to keep up on social media and I’m more intentional about putting dates on the calendar to meet up in real life. Whether it’s a Sunday morning hike in a nearby preserve, lunch in town, or hosting a small dinner party, these in-person hours fill me with joy and connection I cherish dearly.

5. I Enhance the Ordinary

This has been the most rewarding of them all; I can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner. I’ve simply started making my everyday rituals more beautifully sensorial. I drink my morning coffee from a handmade mug that I bought from an artist on my trip to Japan. I make my mid-morning tea in a clear teapot so I can see the tea leaves and citrus that create the gorgeous flavor with every sip. I’ve even started to add edible flower petals to my ice cubes (see above) so when I want a refreshing drink I see, and taste, beauty in every glass. I add little sprigs of mint leaves to a bowl of fruit for a whiff of added aroma (and color), and put a slice of lemon in every glass of water. I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. These are really tiny adjustments, but they uplift me in so many ways.

For me it really is about the little things - the smells, the flavors, and the beauty in the everyday. So, while it’s clear that we don’t have control over everything that happens in the world, I do believe that we can create our own simple moments of pleasure every single day.

I’ll leave you with a sensorially pleasing spring salad and drink recipe that I like to make and enjoy this time of year.